When Ego asks, “How long is this situation going to go on,” Surrender says, “It goes on until it doesn’t.”

Right now my mom is in hospice.  This is the result of a massive stoke that has greatly incapacitated her.  No ability to move the right side, no ability to talk, limited ability to stay awake, and of course, extreme discomfort.  This is not what any of us wanted for her.

Though Source has awakened the individuated self I once called “me” from its self-imposed slumber, there is still the matter of Surrender–accepting what is happening around me with an open hand and without judgment.  Staying present instead of sliding back into the slumber and escape of conditioned Egoic responses.

Surrender is an ego word.  Source has no need to surrender.  Ego dissolves as Source awakens to Itself.  But until then.

Surrender means staying present–accepting things as they unfold and knowing that even if I could, I should not impose change.  It means listening to the news from the doctors without judging what they say as good or bad.  It means listening to disagreements among family members about what should be done–and not trying to control them with my words and actions or judging their words and actions in my mind. Surrender means understanding that this physical thing I call myself is going to be sad, tired, and want to say and do anything to gain control of even the smallest thing.  Surrender means allowing this fictitious person I call “me” to melt, cry, feel pain and despair. It means honoring the physical body with rest, food, and space.

Surrender is constantly answering the ego–when it asks the question, “How long is this going to go on,” with, “It goes on until it doesn’t.” Surrender is sitting by the bedside and being present–without judging the moment as good or bad–even when mom moans or looks pitiful. Surrender means saying, “I don’t know”  when others ask me if  mom can really understand what’s happening to her or going on about her.

Surrender means that nothing is what it seems to be from an individuated point of view–that life and death are the same thread. God is all there is and It is constantly expanding from  one state into the next.  God is mom, you,  me and everybody–doing its thing in an ever-present moment. Things are working out. All is well.

Make Mine Welches!

The story of Jesus turning water into wine is one of my favorites. It has always seemed to me to be a bit of a cheeky story. A bit irreverent—and brash. You know, something like drawing mustache on Mrs. Grundy’s picture or putting soap suds in a water fountain. It wasn’t what I would expected for a first public miracle by the Messiah. I think I might have expected something along the lines of levitating in the temple with all of the scribes being struck speechless while Jesus spoke. But it wasn’t like that.

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Havens of Spiritual Understanding & Meaning Pt. 2


I have come to believe that most people have, what I call, a spiritual haven–a go to place of refuge and comfort that works for them. It is where they find connection with something greater than themselves. I have identified nine unique havens that I believe are convenient little pigeon holes in which we may sort the most common experiences.

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Havens of Spiritual Understanding & Meaning Pt. 1

I have come to believe that most people have, what I call, a spiritual haven–a go to place of refuge and comfort that works for them. It is where they find connection with something greater than themselves.

I often hear people say, “I’m spiritual but not religious,” or “I’m a spiritual person,” as though we both understand what is meant. The truth is more complicated. “Spirituality” is a multi-factored word and no one definition adequately encompasses or describes it. For some, spirituality and the study of religious teachings are essentially the same. For others religion has nothing to do with spirituality. For others, it involves participating in unique rituals and practices while for others spirituality describes a process of meditative and extra-normal inner states. What is spiritual to one person may not be considered as so by another.

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Haven 2: Knowledge

When the life of the mind is impacted by a heartfelt love for God, knowledge becomes a spiritual path.

Learning stimulates the imagination towards God and is an undisputed necessity for the spiritual journey because much of what we think eventually goes below the surface of analysis and into our heart–the place where “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” If the first stage of spiritual development is life as magic, the next level is the Knowledge stage. Here we try to refine and mature what we know. No one travels the spiritual road alone–even if they belong to no identifiable spiritual group. Intellectual studies help to bring about an understanding of our solitary and group experiences. It helps us to know what’s possible.

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Haven 1: Life as Magic

To ignore God or mythological stories altogether because they are not factually true is to commit a greater sin of ending spiritual development by denying that stories can actually be truer than true!

I don’t know about you, but my life as a kid life was pretty magical. All of my needs were taken care of by loving parents who saw that I never lacked for much of anything. I lived in a stable idyllic setting where my needs were met and my worries were restricted to concerns about making friends and doing fun things. Additionally, there were the magical days of Christmas, Easter, birthdays and teeth under my pillow.

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Reward and Punishment

A more rational choice is to believe that God is everything,  we are individuations of It, and that God has no need to either reward or punish Itself.

You hear a lot about heaven and hell–especially if you grew up in a religious family like I did.  The idea that good deeds are rewarded and evil deeds are punished appears to be both logical and just. Nobody likes the idea of Hitler getting off easy or being treated the same as Mother Teresa once we die. There is an ingrained notion that good things should come to those who play by the rules.  And even though we don’t see consistent evidence that this is true on planet earth, ministers and teachers tell us that there is an afterlife where all is made right (though how they can know this for sure is certainly mysterious).  So, those sinners who are living it up now had better beware–because there is a time coming where they will be eternally sorry for what they did (insert sarcasm here).

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My life is filled with fortune and unexpected good things.

Coincidence guides my spiritual journey.  When I am ready to grow in transcendent ways, new teachers appear. New friends emerge, new books and websites mysteriously show up and new experiences come my way.

There is only One Spirit and all people are individualizations of It. I am both the One Spirit and the individualization. One Spirit knows all individualizations–personally and intimately. He is unfailing in his love and devotion towards them.  In other words, he knows me and is always at working in my behalf and unfailing in his love for me. His love for me is nothing more or less than His way of manifesting love for Himself.

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What is prayer but affirming perfection?

There is only one thing going on–and it is God. God is absolute and from this perspective the world is perfect. Awakening is the realization that “all is well” even if in my limited perspective it does not appear to be so.  All things that helps me align with this perfection is prayer

One of my earliest memories is of my father teaching me how to pray. I was adopted at age three and he must have taught me shortly after I came to live with them. I remember him teaching me to place the palms of my hands together and to bow my head. Later I would learn that prayer was used for two things: giving thanks and asking for things.

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