I Love Me Rant

I love me. I have not always loved me and for most of my life I did not think too highly of myself—but those days are over. I love me. I love me—without conditions, without shame, without a care if anybody believes I should or not—I love me.

I love my gray hair. I think it looks cool. I love my baggy eyes–they add character to my look. I like the moles on my face, and my long pointy nose.  It makes me look like a Roman Emperor!  I love my loose skin—it only shows I have the body of a man with much life experience!  I don’t care that I’m not the strongest person, or the fastest person, or the most coordinated person—I love me.  I’m fine just the way I am.  I’m healthy, flexible, and in reasonably good condition– I feel good–I feel fantastic–and I love my body and I love me.  And when my body totally gives out—I will still love me!

I like the way I think. I don’t care if others agree with me.  I don’t care if I am branded as the campus liberal!  That’s okay, that’s fine–I love that man! I love that man who has grown so independent in his thought–that he doesn’t much care any more what people think about him.

I love that man who gets excited over nerdy concepts such as accreditation, communication theory, communication law–I love that guy!  I love that guy who doesn’t believe like everybody else,  I love that guy who loves woodworking, gardening and hanging out with his friends playing cards—I love that guy!

I love the journey this man has been on. I love the little boy who was abandoned as a child.  I love the little boy who cried when his sister’s name was changed by his adopted family–I love that little boy.  I love that little boy who believed everything his parents told him—including Santa Claus , the Easter bunny–and sometimes very crazy notions about people, places, politics, and religion.  I love that guy.

I love that gawky little seventh grader!  The one who was smaller than his peers, the one who was so socially awkward that he carried a little box briefcase wherever he went. I love that boy!  I love that boy who had buck teeth!  The boy who was teased and taunted and bullied!  I especially love that boy.  I love that boy who didn’t know how to ask for a date.  I love that boy who couldn’t look a girl in the eye! I love that boy who wanted to be more popular than he was—who felt like he didn’t fit in—who  sometimes felt like He didn’t have any friends–who worried about his looks–his acne–his hair and his size.  I love the boy who had no athletic talent.  The boy who read books–one after the other–the boy who listened to Frank Sinatra, Frankie Valli, Perry Como and all the crooners! I love that boy!

I love that man who raised a family–who went to swim meets, faculty meetings, PTA meetings, band concerts, and hundreds of different events for his children. I love that man.  I love that man who sometimes has trouble filtering what he says—who is likely to blurt out things he wishes he hadn’t said–I love that guy! I love that man who had a life crash so bad that he did not care if he lived or died—I love that man.

I love that man who has made so very many mistakes. I love how he strives to be better–I love how he sometimes worries over things too much. I love the things that he’s concerned about–I love his heart–I love that he cares about social justice–that he wants everybody to find happiness–that he wants to live in a society where everyone is treated with dignity and respect.

I love that man who struggled with his faith—and finally decided that it’s okay if he doesn’t believe exactly like everybody else!

I love that man and I love me!

Some things I love

  1. I love Starbucks in the morning,
    1. the slow and peaceful time, calm feelings
  2. I love Dayspring church,
    1. being with a community of friends, hearing great ideas, connecting with the divine
  3. I love eating with my friends in the cafeteria,
    1. being with friends, connecting, meaning making, sharing,
  4. I love my special home
  5. I love my wife,
  6. I love my office,
  7. I love my apple computer,
  8. I love my iPad mini
  9. I love my Honda
  10. I love my Prius
  11. I love my mother,
  12. I love my coworkers
  13. I love my fellow deans
  14. I love the feeling of fullness after a good meal.
  15. I love this fall weather,
  16. I love the gentle fall breeze,
  17. I love 80 degree weather
  18. I love gardening
  19. I love woodworking
  20. I love a good meal
  21. I love a glass of red wine
  22. I love a good cold beer,
  23. I love working with power tools
  24. I love nice furnishings
  25. I love a good shirt
  26. I love education
  27. I love teaching
  28. I love working with students
  29. I love working with faculty members
  30. I love coming up with new ideas.

I have never been more excited about my life than today

I’ve never been more excited about my life than today!  I’ve never felt more important than today. I’ve never seen more potential than today.  I’ve never seen more opportunity then I have right here right now. I’ve never felt like I matter more  than today.

Today is full of promise, full of rewards, full of people who I love, full of opportunity, good thoughts and positive energy!

I’ve never been more excited about the work I do! I’ve never been more excited about the people I know and meet! I’ve never been more excited about the opportunities that are before me! I’ve never been more excited about the things I’m learning! I’ve never been more excited about personal growth I’m experiencing! I’ve never been more excited about my life than today!

I’ve never been more positive, I’ve never been happier, I’ve never been more focused, I’ve never had more abilities and  resources then I have today.  I’ve never been more aligned, I’ve never understood life better than I do today.  I’ve never been  more driven to do good things than today!

I’ve never trusted God more than I trust him today! I’ve never given myself more to him than right here and right now! I’ve never trusted more in his ability to care for me and lead me where I need to go than right now!

Today anything can happen!  Untold opportunities can come my way. I may discover something that makes a big difference in my life today. I may meet a person that I’ll know forever. I may learn something that changes my life and makes it better. Anything can happen and I’ve never been more excited about my life than today!

Everyday I have more clarity

Every day there’s more and more clarity in my life. Every day something that I used to believe falls away. Pointless beliefs, useless attitudes, and unnecessary emotions fall away and are replaced by a greater joy.

Every day I drop something that has been chewing up bandwidth and taking my mind away from what’s really important. This clarity makes me feel happy. This clarity makes me feel focused. This clarity gives me peace and calm. This clarity takes away emotional baggage that I don’t need.

This clarity helps me understand clearly what’s my business…what’s their business…and what’s God’s business!

This clarity reveals to me who I really am. It shows me that I am more than an amalgamation of pre-programmed ideas and beliefs and a separate self. This clarity reveals to me the illusion of space-time and place. This clarity reveals to me the illusion of self as a separate entity from all that is.

In clarity I see the pointlessness of arguing about whose belief is better than another’s. Clarity reveals to me the way in which culture has programmed the human race to believe and do and say certain things and act in certain ways. Clarity helps me to see the way in which beings become enslaved in bondage to others who would control them.

Words

I love words. I love learning new words. I love speaking. I love reading the written word. I love hearing the spoken word. I love hearing other people speak I love to read books that are little more than one word stacked upon another and another until a wonderful story has been told. I love nouns, Verbs, Adverbs adjectives and direct objects. I cannot imagine Life without words.

Everything I’ve ever learned was built upon words. Words have provided me the most sublime of ideals and my greatest of frustrations.  I have forged powerful relationships with  people through words. I have damaged relationships in the same way.

I think in words, I pray in words, I write poetry in words, I ramble my thoughts in words, I revel in words. I love long words that sound erudite give me a reputation for being a sesquipedalian. I love short words that pack power and punch. I love foreign words that sound suave and sophisticated. I make up my words sometimes–I don’t think I fool anyone when I do this!

But words are tricky and treacherous. Words are wiggly and not at all as precise and specific as some think. Carefully constructed legal contracts are often broken because some word didn’t say what it was intended it to say.  Words can fool and deceive.

Words give a sense–– A false sense–– of security. Word seems so foundational, so secure, so precise–– but none of that is true. No word ever fully expresses the truth of the heart, the love one feels for another, the pain and sorrow one feels for the travels of life.  More often than not, words fail us.  And, as wonderful as words are,  people often use them to curse rather than bless. And in the end, words are ethereal–seemingly real for the moment then slowly their meanings change and degrade until no one really understands what was said–much less what was meant.